Tora! Tora! Tora!
Imagine a highly trained and motivated soldier whose post consists of a bunker to hide in if the enemy forces attack in overwelming numbers, a machine gun emplacement to kill the enemy with if the soldier is likely to be able to fight them off, and a klaxon, controlled remotely by someone unknown and unseen located far away at HQ, set atop a tall poll to warn him of the enemy's approach. There is nothing else.
Imagine that each time this nameless faceless superior sounds the klaxon the soldier has been trained to drop whatever he is doing and cast around for the enemy. Once he spots the enemy, he is to utilize his superior training in threat analysis to determine whether he should man his machine gun and fight off the attackers or else lock himself in his impenetrable bunker and wait for them to pass if they are too powerful for his machine gun.
Imagine that although the soldier doesn't like action and dreads the sound of the klaxon he is loyal enough, soldier enough, and adult enough to perform his duty each and every time the klaxon rings . . no matter what.
Now imagine that one day the klaxon, which formerly rang only occasionally and when the enemy was on the verge of attacking begins to ring daily . . . sometimes twice or three times a day. And that it has begun to ring when no enemy is in sight. Each time it rings the poor loyal soldier runs around and around, becoming more agitated and upset, because since he can not find the enemy, he doesn't know whether to flee to his bunker or to man his machine gun. The soldier's training and sense of duty tells him he must react appropriately each and every time the klaxon rings but the environment, his senses and the context in which the klaxon has begun to ring signals no action. his training doesn't cover what to do when the klaxon rings bereft of the presence of the enemy.
This is me lately. This has been going on in my head. I hear the klaxon go off at random times. The enemy is near. The redcoats are coming, whatever. But there is no danger. No threat. No nothing. But the klaxon keeps ringing. And I've been trained to be sensative to the klaxon and to react to it. Trained by a lifetime of experience, knowing my instincts in general are pretty good, that my perception is clear and my intel formidable.. . in other words the the nameless faceless klaxon ringer only rings it when danger is nigh. Except there is no enemy, no danger and nothing to be done about it.
I think they're called panic or anxiety attacks. They happen just about every night when I try to go to sleep. Usually once more somewhere between 2-4am --I sleep in fits and starts on the best nights so I always have a period of wakefullness around then. And sometimes my private silent klaxon rings in the middle of the day. They last about 5-10 minutes at most. And there is seemingly nothing I can do about it.
That is all, soldiers. Pass around the valium.
Imagine that each time this nameless faceless superior sounds the klaxon the soldier has been trained to drop whatever he is doing and cast around for the enemy. Once he spots the enemy, he is to utilize his superior training in threat analysis to determine whether he should man his machine gun and fight off the attackers or else lock himself in his impenetrable bunker and wait for them to pass if they are too powerful for his machine gun.
Imagine that although the soldier doesn't like action and dreads the sound of the klaxon he is loyal enough, soldier enough, and adult enough to perform his duty each and every time the klaxon rings . . no matter what.
Now imagine that one day the klaxon, which formerly rang only occasionally and when the enemy was on the verge of attacking begins to ring daily . . . sometimes twice or three times a day. And that it has begun to ring when no enemy is in sight. Each time it rings the poor loyal soldier runs around and around, becoming more agitated and upset, because since he can not find the enemy, he doesn't know whether to flee to his bunker or to man his machine gun. The soldier's training and sense of duty tells him he must react appropriately each and every time the klaxon rings but the environment, his senses and the context in which the klaxon has begun to ring signals no action. his training doesn't cover what to do when the klaxon rings bereft of the presence of the enemy.
This is me lately. This has been going on in my head. I hear the klaxon go off at random times. The enemy is near. The redcoats are coming, whatever. But there is no danger. No threat. No nothing. But the klaxon keeps ringing. And I've been trained to be sensative to the klaxon and to react to it. Trained by a lifetime of experience, knowing my instincts in general are pretty good, that my perception is clear and my intel formidable.. . in other words the the nameless faceless klaxon ringer only rings it when danger is nigh. Except there is no enemy, no danger and nothing to be done about it.
I think they're called panic or anxiety attacks. They happen just about every night when I try to go to sleep. Usually once more somewhere between 2-4am --I sleep in fits and starts on the best nights so I always have a period of wakefullness around then. And sometimes my private silent klaxon rings in the middle of the day. They last about 5-10 minutes at most. And there is seemingly nothing I can do about it.
That is all, soldiers. Pass around the valium.
<< Home